One day, way back in the days of VHS tapes and the Magic School Bus, the days of the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC... I was born.
It was a fateful August 10th of 1994 when I emerged into the world, which was a place hardly ready to accept my existence! No other planet would accept me because my awesomeness apparently surpassed their Awesome Capacity Meter.
So the Almighty Awesome (the One who is the Most Awesome in all the universe), decreed Earth as my residence (despite their lack of space for awesomeness). I plummeted into the atmosphere with sparks and flames of glory, and crash-landed right in a hospital room.
But what many people don't know about this story is that another plummeted into the world with me. You see, as the smoke and debri faded from the room, I saw who was already there before me. He was another awesomely rare species as I... His species name is... Taran.
"You must be an Allison," he blabbered to me in a young tongue only I could understand.
"You must be on the wrong planet," I blabbered back.
"I don't think so," the Taran giggled maniacally. "I was here a minute before you!"
I realized then, that the world was not big enough for the both of us.
For many years following, we battled each other. We brawled to the ends of the earth, with big swords and magic and cool-looking guns, creating riffs in the space/time continuum because of our sheer, raw awesomeness.
And then one day, the Almighty Awesome paid note to our cataclysmic destruction and froze us in epic motion. He was so upset with our endless, pointless dueling that He stripped us our Awesome Powers and reversed time back to the day we plummeted to earth.
"Taran was born first," the Almighty Awesome decreed. "By one minute. Therefore he will be a year older than you, Allison. But only by a minute."
And so it was, that since August 10th, 1994 (the second time), the awesome Taran and Allison came into existence as normal human beings with a little bit more awesomeness than the next guy, and Taran was only a yute older than Allison.
A year-minute.
The End.
